This is my favourite photo of Pa... Following is the tribute I wrote for his funeral today...
As I reflect on my time living with Pa last year, I realise what a privilege it was to have the chance to get to know him, really for the first time. It was a full and rich year with many challenges, but also so many wonderful moments that I will treasure in my heart with much thankfulness.
What I discovered about Pa - the man he was beyond the aches and pains and moments of confusion or forgetfulness that go with being 93 - was that he was a real gentleman. The "ladies-first, door-opening" kind that is a rare breed now-a-days. He was a kind-hearted and generous man with a wonderful sense of humour. Despite each day being a great effort for him just to rise and deal with a wearing out body and mind, his humour would constantly surprise me and make me laugh.
He had a great collection of sayings. After breakfast each morning he would get up, dust the crumbs off his shirt and announce with satisfaction that "the prisoner ate a hearty meal". Every now and then he would test me and instead of the announcement, it would be a question... "and what did the prisoner do??"
Pa loved to be out and about. Sitting at home all day was only for the worst of weathers. Each morning after a cheery "GOOOOD morning!!" and a hearty breakfast, he would enquire as to what was on the program for the day. As long as it wasn't a boring blood test or doctor's appointment I would receive an approving "good." I think we saw around 60 movies together last year. Pa loved a movie. If I chose a good one, that was a bonus, but if not he saw it as the perfect opportunity for quick nap. As we always went during the day time, we would often have the entire cinema to ourselves, at which point Pa would lean over and whisper in my ear: "glad we booked".
We had a collection of favourite eateries... number one being the Harbord Diggers where they serve the best salmon steak lunch around. Pa would usually polish off the lot, despite declaring half way through that there was way too much and he couldn't possibly eat it all. After which he would wipe the tartare sauce from his lips and say: "take me out and kill me but don't bend me"... which I think just means he was very full.
Shortly after moving to Manly with Pa, I asked him if he missed living at Woy Woy to which he quickly replied, "not even one woy". This had nothing to do with Sandy & Ian because he often spoke fondly of his time there and how well they cared for him, but more because Manly had become part of who he was. Having lived there since 1964 he was deeply attached to his home and to Manly itself. As they say, you could take the Pa out of Manly but you couldn't take the Manly out of Pa.
He loved going on the ferry and would always insist on leading me up the steep flight of stairs to the upper deck and sitting on the hard wooden seats at the back outside, in order to give me the wonderful open view of Manly fading in the distance as we headed to the city. And that was even if I forgot the boney-you-know-what-cushion!
One of my fondest memories of my time with Pa is sitting on the swing with him at home and listening to stories of old... about South Africa, and his parents and siblings, about growing up poor in Eastwood, about being a young man and going dancing at the Trochadero, about being there at the opening of the Harbour Bridge when de Groot rode up and cut the ribbon before it had to be re-tied and officially re-cut, about working as a cutter and later starting his own business... about his love of fishing and his hole-in-one that wasn't recorded... and about a brother-in-law with no nous.
After explaining to me what 'nous' meant, I realised that if anyone had nous, it was Pa. One thing that really struck me over the year with Pa is the way our whole family love and care for him so much, especially his four girls - Sandy, Leonie and Judy-Vicki-whoever-you-are. They made every effort to keep him at home for as long as possible and to make sure he was happy and had all that he needed.I realised one day that that was a real reflection of the person he was. A solid rock in their lives - a real man of nous - steady and constant, a good father and provider who loved them dearly.
I feel so blessed to have an album full of photos of the "things I did with Pa" and that even though he has been taken from us for now, those memories are something I will always treasure.
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